Jokes Jokes Jokes

Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by pedagogy, Jun 2, 2010.

  1. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice MDL Novice

    Aug 5, 2015
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    I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he's only got one arm bless him.
    I shouted - "Where you off to Charlie?"
    He said, "I'm off to change a light bulb."
    Well I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing, then said,
    "That's gonna be a bit awkward init?"
    "Not really." he said. "I still have the receipt, you insensitive b****d."
     
  2. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice MDL Novice

    Aug 5, 2015
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    I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.
    I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.
    Then I remembered – the local cafe serve breakfast until 11.30.
     
  3. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice MDL Novice

    Aug 5, 2015
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    I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a Muslim sneaking through next door's garden.
    Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.
    He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.
    Astonished, I got back into bed.
    My wife said "Darling, you're shaking, what is it?"
    "You'll never believe what I've just seen!" I said, "That swine next door has still got my bloody shovel."
     
  4. Threat

    Threat Lord of the Files

    Feb 23, 2014
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  5. CHEF-KOCH

    CHEF-KOCH MDL Addicted

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  6. Michaela Joy

    Michaela Joy MDL Crazy Lady

    Jul 26, 2012
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    ROFLMAO :thumbsup:
     
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  7. Tiger-1

    Tiger-1 MDL Expert

    Oct 18, 2014
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    yep I watched on tv this horrible action with man so I think this value still is little he deserve at least 80 millions :sneaky: damned airline :mad:
     
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  8. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice MDL Novice

    Aug 5, 2015
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    An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.
    He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi
    'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'
    Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'
    Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'
    Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'
    Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)
    Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)
    Dog: 'Yep'
    Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'
    Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'
    Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)
    Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'
    Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'
    Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'
    Horse: 'Cool'
    Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
    Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)
    Horse: 'Yep'
    Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
    Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'
    Kiwi: (total look of amazement)
    Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'
    Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a F*****' liar.. '
     
  9. jadinolf

    jadinolf MDL Novice

    Jun 1, 2016
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    Never trust a sheep.:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
     
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  10. jime1

    jime1 MDL Senior Member

    Jul 16, 2011
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  11. jime1

    jime1 MDL Senior Member

    Jul 16, 2011
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